a linux funny from slashdot...[only partly OT]

[Chris Friesen]

The following is a quote from an anonymous coward posting on /.

//////begin quote//////////

 This is an open letter to Spanish Linux creator Linus Torvaldez. I really hope
that these few criticisms are addressed soon.

Dear Linus,

I have always felt that Linux is a nice operating system (for hobbyists and
geeks), but there are some areas where it is seriously lacking, especially when
compared to its main competitor, Microsoft? Windows?.

    * File sharing. Windows has long been superior when it comes to making large
amounts of files available to third parties. Even early versions of Windows
automatically detected and made available all directories thanks to the built in
NetBIOS-powered file sharing support. But Microsoft has realized that this
technology is inherently limited and has added even better file sharing support
to its Windows XP operating system. "Universal Plug an Play" [slashdot.org] will
make it possible to literally access any file, from any device! I think
universal file sharing support needs to be built into the Linux kernel soon.

    * Intelligent agents. With innovations like Clippy, the talking paperclip
[dmu.ac.uk] and Microsoft Bob, Microsoft has always tried to make life easier
for its customers. With Outlook and Outlook Express, Microsoft has built a
framework for developers to create even smarter agents. Especially popular
agents include "Sircam", which automatically asks the users' friends for advice
on files he is working on and the "Hybris" agent, which is a self-replicating
copy of a humorous take on "Snow-White and the Seven Dwarves" (the real story!).
Microsoft is working on expanding this P2P technology to its web servers. This
project is still in the beta stage, thus the name "Code Red". The next versions
will be called "Code Yellow" and "Code Green".

    * Version numbers. Linux has real naming problems. What's the difference
between a 2.4.19 and a 2.2.17 kernel anyway? And what's with those odd and even
numbers? Microsoft has always had clear and sophisticated naming/versioning
policies. For example, Windows 95 was named Windows 95 because it was released
in 1995. Windows 98 was released three years later, and so on. Windows XP
brought a whole new "experience" to the user, therefore the name. I suggest that
the next Linux kernel releases be called Linux 03, Linux 04, Linux 04.5 (OSR1),
Linux 04.7B (OSR2 SP4 OEM), Linux 2005 and Linux VD (Valentine's Day edition).
Furthermore, remember how Microsoft named every upcoming version of Windows
after some Egyptian city? Cairo, Chicago and so on. I think that the development
kernels should be named after Spanish cities to celebrate Linux' Spanish
origins. Linux Milano or Linux Rome anyone?

    * Multi-User Support. This has always been one of Microsoft's strong sides,
especially in the Windows 95/98 variants, where passwords were completely
unnecessary. Microsoft has made the right decision by not bothering the user
with a distinction between "normal" and "root" users too much -- practice has
shown that average users can be trusted to act responsibly and in full awareness
of the potential consequences of their actions. After all, if your operating
system doesn't trust you, why should you trust it? (To be fair, Linux is making
some progress here with the Lindows [lindows.com] distribution, where users are
always running as root.)

      With Windows XP, Microsoft has again improved multi-user support. Not only
does Windows XP come with a large library of user pictures that are displayed on
the login screen, such as a guitar and a flower, it also has "quick user
change". This makes it possible to login as a different user with a simple
keyboard shortcut, and the good news is: programs from the old user keep running
in the background! Beat that, Linux!

    * Programmability. Microsoft has always been known for making computer
machine power accessible to end users. The operating system comes with many
helpful tools such as VBScript, a programming language especially useful for
developing intelligent agents as mentioned above, and QBASIC, a truly innovative
"hacker" tool that makes it possible to develop even sophisticated applications
without much foreknowledge. Scripts can even be embedded into documents such as
Word files. This together with the mind-blowing Windows XP shell, which now also
has amazing features like "autocompletion" (you no longer have to type all those
long paths) and a scrollback buffer, makes Windows XP the "hacker's choice".
Linux should stop "dumbing down" users with pretty pictures such as in KDE or
GNOME. Also, I think that a BASIC interpreter should be an unremovable component
of the Linux kernel.

I also find it disappointing that Linux has not embraced new technologies such
as Digital Rights Management which will finally make it profitable for artists
to sell their intellectual property on the web. The content industry has
calculated that it loses about 450 trillion dollars per day to piracy. If this
continues, the economic effects will be devastating. Richard Stallman has
supported DRM for years and made it a fixed part of his GNU/Hurd operating
system -- Linux should not hold back progress in this important area. DRM should
be made part of the Linux Standard Base (LSB), and Linux distributors should put
"DMCA-Compliant" buttons on their websites. We all know that Linux would never
have been created without strong intellectual property protection as enforced by
the FSF, so let's not be hypocritical.

On the plus side, I have found Linux an absolutely superior operating system for
viewing pornography. Porn is loading much faster than on Windows, especially
with the Cox and Love kernel patches and powerful porn browsers such as
Pornzilla [netscape.com]. This is truly an operating system written by geeks,
for geeks!

-- 
Chris Friesen                    | MailStop: 043/33/F10  
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