You have no processes??? My gosh, that is a problem. :-)
The load average is how many processes are runnable, therefore you have
runnable processes.
If you have Netscape or Mozilla running on your box, it may be in a
permanently runnable state.
Another amusing possibility is that you have a hacked box, and top is
reporting the stupid IRC bot that is running, but not showing you the actuall
process, because it too is hacked.
Replace ps and top, and have a look. Don't believe ls, either.
If none of these things are true, you might have another problem.
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